Lohan Challenges Lively For Film Roles

Actress Lindsay Lohan is getting serious about making a movie comeback, insisting she's keen to challenge Blake Lively for roles in two new movies.

Lohan, who is currently in talks to portray Victoria Gotti in the upcoming mob film "Gotti: Three Generations," reveals she's particularly interested in going head to head with Lively to play a good with in "Oz: The Great & Powerful," opposite pal James Franco, and in Oliver Stone's latest film "Savages."

She tells the New York Post, "I think the only role I could play is Glinda (The Good Witch). I'll only do the movie if I can work with (James Franco). We're, like, best friends."

Franco has been cast as the leading man in the film, while Mila Kunis is also reportedly onboard the project.

The "Mean Girls" actress also expressed interest in Oliver Stone's stoner drama "Savages," stating, "Thats the role I really want."

Lohan is keen to make her mark as an actress again following a string of film flops and two years of legal woes and personal crises, which culminated in prison and rehab stints in 2010. (Cebu Daily News)

Plasma TV

General characteristics

A 103" plasma display panel by Panasonic

Plasma displays are bright (1,000 lux or higher for the module), have a wide color gamut, and can be produced in fairly large sizes—up to 150 inches (3.8 m) diagonally. They have a very low-luminance "dark-room" black level compared to the lighter grey of the unilluminated parts of an LCD screen (i.e. the blacks are blacker on plasmas and greyer on LCDs).^[1] LED-backlit LCD televisions have been developed to reduce this distinction. The display panel itself is about 6 cm (2.5 inches) thick, generally allowing the device's total thickness (including electronics) to be less than 10 cm (4 inches). Plasma displays use as much power per square meter as a CRT or an AMLCD television.^{[citation needed]} Power consumption varies greatly with picture content, with bright scenes drawing significantly more power than darker ones - this is also true of CRTs. Typical power consumption is 400 watts for a 50-inch (127 cm) screen. 200 to 310 watts for a 50-inch (127 cm) display when set to cinema mode. Most screens are set to 'shop' mode by default, which draws at least twice the power (around 500-700 watts) of a 'home' setting of less extreme brightness. Panasonic has greatly reduced power consumption ("1/3 of 2007 models")  Panasonic claims that PDPs will consume only half the power of their previous series of plasma sets to achieve the same overall brightness for a given display size. The lifetime of the latest generation of plasma displays is estimated at 100,000 hours of actual display time, or 27 years at 10 hours per day. This is the estimated time over which maximum picture brightness degrades to half the original value.

Plasma display screens are made from glass, which reflects more light than the material used to make an LCD screen.^{[citation needed]} This causes glare from reflected objects in the viewing area. Companies such as Panasonic coat their newer plasma screens with an anti-glare filter material.^{[citation needed]} Currently, plasma panels cannot be economically manufactured in screen sizes smaller than 32 inches. Although a few companies have been able to make plasma EDTVs this small, even fewer have made 32in plasma HDTVs. With the trend toward larger and larger displays, the 32in screen size is rapidly disappearing. Though considered bulky and thick compared to their LCD counterparts, some sets such as Panasonic's Z1 and Samsung's B860 series are as slim as one inch thick making them comparable to LCDs in this respect.

Competing display technologies include CRT, OLED, LCD, DLP, SED, LED, FED, and QLED.

Plasma display advantages and disadvantages

Advantages

• Picture quality
  • Produces deep blacks allowing for superior contrast ratio
  • Much wider viewing angles than those of LCD; images do not suffer from degradation at high angles unlike LCDs
  • No visible motion blur, thanks in large part to very high refresh rates and a faster response time, contributing to superior performance when displaying content with significant amounts of rapid motion^{[6][7][9][10]}

• Physical
  • Slim profile
  • Can be wall mounted
  • Less bulky than rear-projection televisions

Disadvantages

• Picture quality
  • Earlier generation displays were more susceptible to screen burn-in and image retention, although most recent models have a pixel orbiter that moves the entire picture faster than is noticeable to the human eye, which reduces the effect of burn-in but does not prevent it. However, turning off individual pixels does counteract screen burn-in on modern plasma displays.
  • Earlier generation displays (2006 and prior) had phosphors that lost luminosity over time, resulting in gradual decline of absolute image brightness (newer models are less susceptible to this, having lifespans exceeding 100,000 hours, far longer than older CRT technology)
  • Earlier generation (circa 2001 and earlier) models were susceptible to "large area flicker"
  • Heavier screen-door effect when compared to LCD or OLED based TVs^{[citation needed]}

• Physical
  • Generally do not come in smaller sizes than 37 inches^[6][7]
  • Heavier than LCD due to the requirement of a glass screen to hold the gases

• Other
  • Use more electricity, on average, than an LCD TV
  • Do not work as well at high altitudes due to pressure differential between the gases inside the screen and the air pressure at altitude. It may cause a buzzing noise. Manufacturers rate their screens to indicate the altitude parameters.
  • For those who wish to listen to AM radio, or are Amateur Radio operators (Hams) or Shortwave Listeners (SWL), the Radio Frequency Interference (RFI) from these devices can be irritating or disabling.
  • Due to the strong infrared emissions inherent with the technology, standard IR repeater systems can not be used in the viewing room. A more expensive "plasma compatible" sensor must be used.^{[citation needed]}

Native plasma television resolutions

Further information: Native resolution

Fixed-pixel displays such as plasma TVs scale the video image of each incoming signal to the native resolution of the display panel. The most common native resolutions for plasma display panels are 853×480 (EDTV), 1,366×768 or 1,920×1,080 (HDTV). As a result picture quality varies depending on the performance of the video scaling processor and the upscaling and downscaling algorithms used by each display manufacturer.^[16][17]

Enhanced-definition plasma television

See also: Enhanced-definition television

Early plasma televisions were enhanced-definition (ED) with a native resolution of 840×480 (discontinued) or 853×480, and down-scaled their incoming high definition signals to match their native display resolution.

ED Resolutions

• 840×480
• 853×480

High-definition plasma television

Early high-definition (HD) plasma displays had a resolution of 1024x1024 and were alternate lighting of surfaces (ALiS) panels made by Fujitsu/Hitachi.These were interlaced displays, with non-square pixels.

Modern HDTV plasma televisions usually have a resolution of 1,024×768 found on many 42 inch plasma screens, 1,280×768, 1,366×768 found on 50 in, 60 in, and 65 in plasma screens, or 1,920×1,080 found in plasma screen sizes from 42 inch to 103 inch. These displays are usually progressive displays, with square pixels, and will up-scale their incoming standard-definition signals to match their native display resolution.

HD Resolutions

• 1024×1024
• 1024×768
• 1280×768
• 1366×768
• 1280×1080
• 1920×1080

How plasma displays work

^{[clarification needed]}

See also: Plasma (physics)

Composition of plasma display panel

A panel typically has millions of tiny cells in compartmentalized space between two panels of glass. These compartments, or "bulbs" or "cells", hold a mixture of noble gases and a minuscule amount of mercury. Just as in the fluorescent lamps over an office desk, when the mercury is vaporized and a voltage is applied across the cell, the gas in the cells form a plasma. With flow of electricity (electrons), some of the electrons strike mercury particles as the electrons move through the plasma, momentarily increasing the energy level of the molecule until the excess energy is shed. Mercury sheds the energy as ultraviolet (UV) photons. The UV photons then strike phosphor that is painted on the inside of the cell. When the UV photon strikes a phosphor molecule, it momentarily raises the energy level of an outer orbit electron in the phosphor molecule, moving the electron from a stable to an unstable state; the electron then sheds the excess energy as a photon at a lower energy level than UV light; the lower energy photons are mostly in the infrared range but about 40% are in the visible light range. Thus the input energy is shed as mostly heat (infrared) but also as visible light. Depending on the phosphors used, different colors of visible light can be achieved. Each pixel in a plasma display is made up of three cells comprising the primary colors of visible light. Varying the voltage of the signals to the cells thus allows different perceived colors.

A plasma display panel is an array of hundreds of thousands of small, luminous cells positioned between two plates of glass. Each cell is essentially a tiny neon lamp filled with rarefied neon, xenon, and other inert gases; the cells are luminous when they are electrified through "electrodes".

The long electrodes are stripes of electrically conducting material that also lie between the glass plates, in front of and behind the cells. The "address electrodes" sit behind the cells, along the rear glass plate, and can be opaque. The transparent display electrodes are mounted in front of the cell, along the front glass plate. As can be seen in the illustration, the electrodes are covered by an insulating protective layer. Control circuitry charges the electrodes that cross paths at a cell, creating a voltage difference between front and back. Some of the atoms in the gas of a cell then lose electrons and become ionized, which creates an electrically conducting plasma of atoms, free electrons, and ions. The collisions of the flowing electrons in the plasma with the inert gas atoms leads to light emission; such light-emitting plasmas are known as glow discharges.^[23][25][26]

In a monochrome plasma panel, the gas is usually mostly neon, and the color is the characteristic orange of a neon-filled lamp (or sign). Once a glow discharge has been initiated in a cell, it can be maintained by applying a low-level voltage between all the horizontal and vertical electrodes–even after the ionizing voltage is removed. To erase a cell all voltage is removed from a pair of electrodes. This type of panel has inherent memory. A small amount of nitrogen is added to the neon to increase hysteresis.^{[citation needed]}

In color panels, the back of each cell is coated with a phosphor. The ultraviolet photons emitted by the plasma excite these phosphors, which give off visible light with colors determined by the phosphor materials. This aspect is comparable to fluorescent lamps and to the neon signs that use colored phosphors.

Every pixel is made up of three separate subpixel cells, each with different colored phosphors. One subpixel has a red light phosphor, one subpixel has a green light phosphor and one subpixel has a blue light phosphor. These colors blend together to create the overall color of the pixel, the same as a triad of a shadow mask CRT or color LCD. Plasma panels use pulse-width modulation (PWM) to control brightness: by varying the pulses of current flowing through the different cells thousands of times per second, the control system can increase or decrease the intensity of each subpixel color to create billions of different combinations of red, green and blue. In this way, the control system can produce most of the visible colors. Plasma displays use the same phosphors as CRTs, which accounts for the extremely accurate color reproduction when viewing television or computer video images (which use an RGB color system designed for CRT display technology).

Plasma displays should not be confused with liquid crystal displays (LCDs), another lightweight flat-screen display using very different technology. LCDs may use one or two large fluorescent lamps as a backlight source, but the different colors are controlled by LCD units, which in effect behave as gates that allow or block the passage of light from the backlight to red, green, or blue paint on the front of the LCD panel. 

Source: Wikipedia

Fearless in Love

“Hard To Get” is for the fearless, because

the idea of “Hard to Get” is controversial.

It’s also a well-understood fact of simple

human nature.

Some people hear this phrase and automatically

think it means being “manipulative” – resorting

to “tricks” to “get a man.”

First – who says you need to “get a man”?

You don’t. You need to “get” yourself -

and know that if a man “gets” you, then

he’s a lucky bloke indeed.

Easy equals desperate. Easy equals not waiting

for what is special. Easy means not being okay

with being on your own.

Some women say, “With a really great man, I

shouldn’t need to play games.”

We say, “Great men love a challenge. When they’re

married to you, they’ll cherish you all the more

because you were hard to get.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Sometimes, a woman knows that the way she came

across – in a first meeting – with a guy she liked

WAS NOT the way she really wanted – and was not the

true, confident HER. Maybe out of nerves, she came

across a little needy or insecure. Only the slightest

fine-tuning could have made a big difference.

Some women say, “I don’t have the energy to work on

how I come across to men.”

We say, “Most worthwhile things take energy and

effort. The results are worth it.”

Some MEN say, “I don’t want a woman who plays

games.”

We say, “Yeah, right. What men think they want

and what they really want are usually two different

things! It’s just that some women are “hard to get”

for them – naturally.

Some women say, “I just don’t like the whole idea of

playing hard to get.”

We say, “Consider the alternative. It’s not a pretty p

icture. Not being hard to get means that you get to

Emotional First Base long before he does. When he

realizes that you are there before him – he will

start backing away from you. This causes a lot

of broken hearts.”

Hard To Get means you are in control – and you’re

a lot more likely to get the man you want and to

have a better relationship with him in the long run.

Excerpt from Mimi Tanner

How To Make His Heart Race

Love is meant to be exciting. The loves we

remember the most are the ones which made

our heart beat fast!

Sometimes it’s the other way around – when

hearts race while you’re together, that

binds you both closer and makes for lasting

memories.

Love is meant to be fun. It’s meant to make

both of your lives better – and happier.

Make his heart race by leaning back – by

waiting – by holding back – in general.

That presents a challenge for your guy -

in an endless number of ways!

Even a minor difference toward being “harder

to get” can make a major difference in how

your man responds to you!

Being “harder to get” does in fact give you an edge.

It means that you understand to your core that love

is meant to make our hearts race!

This in fact empowers you – it EMPOWERS you!

You do have an edge. But you’re doing nothing more

than what women have been doing for centuries,

whether it was intentional or not.

It’s simply what works, what protects your heart,

and what ignites the fireworks of romance in a

way that imprints YOU on his heart forever.

You are being yourself – and it’s the self that

is NOT desperate to win any man.

It’s the self that knows she is wonderful and

worth being pursued and courted by the man of

her dreams. With that mindset, you’re already

a winner!

What is “Hard To Get”?

Hard to Get is a time-honored principle for a

reason.

Find out just how valuing yourself and using

restraint and discipline on some of the urges

you may have that work against you when it’s

the “wrong time” for what’s in your head…

when you might be about to do something that would

NOT work in your best interest OR HIS!

Yes, love is the most exciting and wonderful “game”

ever invented, so play to win. Play hard…. to get!

From Mimi Tanner

How To Make Your Love Playful

Love is meant to be playful.

To be playful is to enhance the experience of

love for both of you. We all want love to be

exciting – but how many people actually

experience excitement when it comes to love?

Certainly not enough!

Somehow we think that being “open” and “able

to relax” with the person we love means that

we can start getting heavy duty. We can now

finally spill our guts about anything and

everything, and he is supposed to be okay

with it because he loves us so much.

In fact, some women seem to press the issue

just so they can prove to themselves that a

man really loves them. They put the poor

guy through the mill until he’s ready to

bolt for the door!

What most women don’t know is this:

In some respects and at some times, men value

different things in women – than women value

in men. These important issues make a difference.

The sooner a woman realizes that a man’s

emotional needs are slightly different than

hers on these important points, the sooner

she’ll start getting her own needs met too.

Men are attracted to different traits in a

woman than a woman is attracted to in a man.

One of the main things men value in women -

as difficult as it is to talk about – is looks.

There is a LOT to say about this one issue

alone, and it is one I have given enormous

thought to over the years, and still do -

about exactly WHY this makes matters, and

HOW it matters.

Men also love games. We all know that men

love such things as sports, golf, cards, and

so on. Men stay more connected to the kid

in them than women tend to.

Of course, women love games and sports too -

but women in general ARE less likely to stay

in touch with the “kid” in them – because

they are busy Raising the Kids…!

Men also are voracious enthusiasts about another

game – the game of love.

You want to see a motivated man? Find one who

is pursuing a woman.

This is one reason why it works so well when

you start having fun enjoying the journey

instead of worrying so much about the

destination.

He can’t pursue you if you’re already his!

Men also prefer not to be pinned down for a

tough discussion that they’re not ready to

have.

So when you start a making love into a fun

chase, you’re so far ahead of the game that

you will literally leave any “competition”

in the dust.

(Think you’re not competitive? Well, think

again; you’re probably a lot more competitive

than you may realize. We all are. It’s human nature!)

What is “Hard To Get”?

Hard to Get is a time-honored principle for a

reason. It has helped hundreds of thousands

of women to learn the meaning of valuing themselves

and using self-restraint and self-discipline when

some of their strongest urges could have resulted

in actions that would have NOT worked in their

best interests in the long run.

Make no mistake about it. Love is a “game” – the

most wonderful “game” ever invented. Play to win.

Play hard…. to get!

excerpt from Mimi Tanner

How To Regain a Man’s Interest from Relationship

Have you ever made a huge mistake with a man that

you wanted SO much to erase? If so, you are not

alone.

“Don’t Say ‘I Love You’ First…and How To Recover If You Did”

Yes, Even Your Love Life Requires Discipline!

There is one way to get rid of a guy fast – even a great guy -

when you least want to get rid of him. So let’s make sure this

does not happen to us.

Don’t be the first one to say “I love you.”

This is a controversial topic, and I certainly understand both

sides of the coin. Often people like to argue about things in

theory which are completely different in real life, and this

topic can be one of them. No one likes the idea of telling a

woman that she should, in principle, not be the one to say “I

love you” first in a relationship with a man.

However, for many very good reasons, this guideline has stood

the test of time – for most situations.

Of course I don’t want you to feel that you have to hold your

feelings in or be afraid of expressing them.

However – we are trying to put the odds in our favor, and

protect ourselves from the kind of good impulses that

unfortunately can cause a man to withdraw from us.

Yes, sometimes we do have to exercise discipline and restraint

in life to get what we want. This is true when it comes to

everything from getting good grades in school to having a fit

body to driving a car. We have to follow guidelines and we

can’t always do what we feel like doing, can we?

You can recover from this “mistake,” and I will tell you

exactly how to do that – but let’s try not to make that

mistake in the first place.

Why He Needs to Say “I Love You” First

Here is what NOT to do if you want to keep the interest of a

man who has not yet made a commitment to you: in general,

the woman should not be the first one to say “I love you”!

You may be feeling this love for him; your love may be true;

and it may also be true that he loves you, too. But until HE

says these words to you, he is not ready for this huge step

forward in your relationship.

As we all know, saying “I love you” is a major milestone in

any romantic relationship. To a woman, it is a time for

rejoicing. However, if a man is not ready for this, all he

will be feeling is pressure when he hears you say those words,

EVEN IF HE IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU.

Unfortunately, even if he IS in that delicious “falling in

love” process, your saying “I love you” first can be like a

huge “wake up call” for him. It may cause him to suddenly

realize that things are getting VERY serious.

End of excerpt from Mimi Tanner

Take Care of YOU

What do the ones we love need from us most of all?

They need us to stay the GEM that we are – by

taking care of ourselves on the inside.

Interestingly, this person’s name is EVE.

EVE is a reminder of the first woman. EVE can

remind us that our first and most important

task is to honor the essence of who we are -

(or who we are becoming)!

Taking care of you can be tough when times are

toughest.

It’s when it seems hardest of all to care for

yourself that it’s more important than ever to

take care of YOU.

If you neglect your own emotional needs and

don’t listen to your own heart, then you won’t

be nearly your best at taking care of the people

you love or the things you care about.

When you don’t take care of yourself; when you

put yourself last on your own list – then you open

yourself up to getting sick or down emotionally or

in some other kind of mess.

We all have our Moments of Truth. Everyone goes

through tough times, even if it doesn’t always

seem that way.

If life gets too far from “normal” or “happy” for

too long, it can be debilitating.

We often don’t know what “normal” and “happy”

are – until we no longer have them.

Tough times make us appreciate how wonderful

it is to have “ordinary” times. What might

otherwise seem ordinary is reason to get

down on our knees in thankfulness.

You owe it to YOU to be YOU. Remember that

people love you for who you are. Don’t let

yourself slip away – when you need your own

strength the most.

The people who love you look to you for

your strength and kindness and gentleness

and humor and goodheartedness (or as much of

those as you can rustle up) :) .

Life is short, so contribute your best while

you can – your good spirits and your encouraging

words – even when it’s not easy to do.

“Beautiful” is in your soul – in the person

who treats the others who cross your path in

a way that makes them feel happier, seen,

heard, encouraged, and respected.

Often we also need to forgive others who

are not able to give these same things

back to us – because they’re so consumed

in stress and have lost the big picture.

How does this relate to your love life?

When it comes down to it, there’s one thing

that is more important than anything else:

The ultimate thing a man needs from the woman

he loves is to be able to Trust Her Kind

Heart.

If he has faith in that, then he has faith

in you.

I have heard from women whose trust has been

stomped on – and who have decided to step

away from hurtful relationships – wisely!

Don’t let that stop you from being you or

from taking care of you. That’s how to be

strong and face what life brings us – finding

solutions and making things work – or

sometimes – just hanging on until the storm

passes. Whatever it takes!

Have a great day – and keep your flirt on!! 

From allaboutlifeandbeauty

Men Love Women Who Love Men

Are you a woman who truly loves men? So many

women seem to miss this all-important key to

a happy love life.

To love men is to delight in their company,

whether you have a romantic relationship

with them or not.

Do you genuinely delight in men, or does

the thought of men only bring to mind

your romantic troubles?

A woman who truly loves men is a special

kind of woman.

You can spot her by the way she interacts

with men. She enjoys the company of men -

even in casual conversation. She never

forgets that a man is a man.

Unfortunately, this kind of woman is often

instinctively disliked by the women who

don’t love men in the same way.

They consider her a threat because she

doesn’t play by their rules. She doesn’t

agree to underplay her feminine charm as

they all seem to want her to! And they

definitely don’t like that. Sad, isn’t it?

But many people reading this have

experienced this themselves!

It seems like many women decide at an early

age to stop looking like women – it was just

too much trouble anyway, they seem to say.

They were looking forward to getting married

so they could retire from all that hassle.

I think that’s a shame. A woman can be beautiful

and appealing and feminine at any age!

Some women maintain – “that feminine stuff -

that’s just not me.” Well, we all have to be

true to ourselves. But some women have

short-changed themselves and their men

by avoiding showing that they are womanly.

Somewhere along the line they were discouraged

from being appealing and the idea stayed with

them.

There’s an often repeated idea that women

tend to dress for other women than for men.

Hopefully, you’re dressing to please

yourself, but let’s face it – what we wear

does show both our regard for other people,

and tells the world how we want to be

perceived.

Does what you wear play up the fact that

you’re a woman, or is it something that a

man could wear just as easily as a woman?

The answer to that will tell you a lot about

where you stand with regard to truly loving

men – and reveling in your womanhood. (And

this does not require wearing a super-short

skirt or showing half a foot of cleavage!)

Some women constantly gripe about their lack

of success with men, but they are constantly

saying negative things – to men and women both.

They are looking for someone to blame instead

of looking for solutions.

It’s very possible to love men even if you have

had some very bad experiences with men in the past.

You can decide to blame all men for the bad

experiences you’ve had with some. You can

decide to make the good guys pay for the

mistakes of the bad guys in your past.

But all that does is make more sadness and

more distance from the love you truly desire!

Women who love men like being near men, talking

with men, hearing them laugh, hearing their views,

and being in male company.

Many of us were raised with the idea that we should

minimize the differences between the sexes rather

than celebrate it. Women who truly love men will

always recognize and celebrate the difference when

they talk to and spend time with a man. Men and

women are both all the happier as a result.

End of excerpt from Mimi Tanner

Loves Every Minute

Being in love and being “crazy” can have a lot

in common. As we all know, love can make us

FEEL “crazy” – and it can lead us to do some

crazy things.

But I’m talking about the kind of crazy that

feels good.

Men in love – get a little crazy. That’s one

way you know they’re in love. That’s one way

that THEY know they’re in love.

By the way – you know, men love it when you drive

them crazy. They love it!

Men love excitement, as we all do. They especially

love being crazy with passion for a woman

who rivets their attention.

Do you ever get tired of feeling like you’re

doing all the WORK?

Do you ever feel UNDER-appreciated??

One way to get a man’s attention is to do

LESS, not more.

Does “hard to get” increase the intensity?

You bet it does.

For example, many women have ONE MAN who

stays in their minds.

One reason that person stays in their minds

is because they don’t HAVE that person.

That man is extremely HARD TO GET.

Does that affect how much you THINK about

him and want him? Absolutely.

It intensifies the intensity. And falling

in love is all about intensity!

From Mimi Tanner

How To Know If He’s A Loser Or A Keeper

One of the things that women have to contend with in dating is the

risk of having a “great guy” DISAPPEAR from your life after going

to bed with you. There’s always the possibility of going out with

someone who seems so awesome at the beginning, only to undergo a

shocking character transformation later on.

And chances are, you’ve probably experienced this yourself. It

wouldn’t rare for most girls to be disappointed (or even appalled)

when their guy doesn’t live up to the hype.

That really puts us in a pickle, doesn’t it? Constantly wondering

if the man you’re going out with is a psycho in nice guy’s clothing

does nothing for your peace of mind.

After all, dating and/or getting into a relationship with someone

is a considerable emotional investment. Sure, getting hurt comes

with the territory, but there’s certainly nothing wrong about

saving yourself unnecessary grief.

There’s a difference between going through the normal relationship

issues with a quality man (like clashes of opinion and such), and

falling for a guy who’ll treat you like dirt a few months down the

road.

I’m sure you don’t want the latter to happen to you, so today let’s

cover some things to watch out for in a guy. In a nutshell,

telltale signs will emerge as early as the first few dates, and

it’s up to you to look out for the following:

#1: His level of respect for you and towards others

Sometimes, we can get so blinded by our “love goggles” or over

eagerness that certain red flags (such as a questionable amount of

respect) slip past us. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t enjoy the

date, but you do need to watch out for little indicators of how he

treats you and other people.

Here are a couple of things to consider: first, does he enjoy

making fun of the things that are obviously important to you? It’s

one thing for a guy to poke harmless fun at your “Love Jams” CD

collection, and another for him to tell you it’s “for pathetic,

sappy losers”.

Second, observe how he talks to people involved in customer

service, such as the staff at the restaurant you’re eating at or

the cashier working at the popcorn stand in the movie theater.

Does he excessively berate them for not serving his café latte

according to his micro-specifications? Or does he POLITELY point

out little slip-ups with a lot of words like “please” and “thanks”

on the side?

Even if his attitude towards other folks doesn’t directly involve

you, it gives you a glimpse of how he’ll act in the relationship

later on.

#2: How thoughtful is he?

Not counting obsessive-compulsiveness, a guy who has the

consideration for some vital things is an indication of his

character.

This includes his attention to detail – does he care enough to

brush his teeth, shine his shoes, iron his clothes and keep his car

in good working order? Don’t feel that you’re being mean or

overcritical for thinking about these things.

These are merely BASIC aspects, and you’re not being harsh by

taking them into account. A guy wouldn’t ask his dreamgirl to walk

down the altar if he knew his bride-to-be was going to spend the

rest of the marriage looking like something the cat dragged in.

So it’s only fair to expect the same bare necessities from the guys

we date. Notice that I haven’t mentioned anything about looks,

because it’s not about that.

Your guy doesn’t have to look like he stole Brad Pitt’s DNA, but he

*does* have to be thoughtful enough by being neat and presentable

on a date.

Thoughtfulness also extends to things like being a good listener,

which shows that he really cares about what you have to say. It’s

a good sign when he displays interest by asking questions about

your stories and so on.

Let’s not forget gentlemanly stuff like guiding you to your seat or

opening doors for you. Political correctness aside, being treated

like a lady tips you off about his character.

While you’re fully capable of taking care of yourself, is he

willing to inconvenience himself from time to time for your sake?

Look out for signs that confirm or refute this.

Oh, and there’s the matter of picking up the tab. Sure, eventually

you’re going to split future expenses (like rent or house payments

if you get that far), but his WILLINGNESS to shoulder dinner costs

is a hint of his capacity as a provider.

#3: He pays attention to your positive aspects

When you put effort into looking your best and he complements you

for that, it feels great. But what about your other traits, such as

a strong independent streak or your creativity?

There’s something special about a guy who can appreciate the things

about you that go beyond physicality. If he has the ability to

GENUINELY (not patronizingly) value your hobbies, interests, and

other stuff you hold dear, then you may have a winner!

As long as he VALUES you in the same regard as you do for yourself,

then your guy is on the right track.

#4: He has a generally positive outlook

Not to get all mystical or new age-y on you, but a person’s energy

can either bring you up or down.

I’m sure you’ve met your fair share of upbeat as well as gloomy

people. Notice how their energy affects your own disposition.

When the peppy attendant at the bookstore is just oozing with

delight to help you pick out a good read, it’s not hard for your

mood to follow suit. Similarly, your co-worker’s sob story about

the umpteenth fight she had with her boyfriend is going to bring

down your day.

It also works the same way with a potential boyfriend. Does his

broad view of things lean towards the positive side, or does he

only see the world in dull shades of depressing gray?

Watch out for a guy that likes to get into long rants. It doesn’t

bode well for someone who likes whining about his work or spends

lots of time putting down a former lover or an annoying colleague.

Think about how things might turn out if you got into a

relationship with such a guy. If he’s consistently displayed this

kind of negative behavior throughout your last few dates, maybe

it’s time to move on.

On the other hand, keep an eye on a date that can at least muster a

sense of humor and doesn’t take things too seriously.

As an aside, let this also be a friendly reminder of your own

attitude. After all, you form HALF of the equation here, so be

mindful of how you conduct yourself during a date!

#5: He has enough common ground to share with you

While opposites attract, he should be able to meet you HALFWAY at

minimum. At the very least, you should be able to relate to a

guy’s general views, values and lifestyle on some level.

More importantly, there has to be that certain dynamic that allows

you both to exchange new ideas with each other. It’s hard to pin

it down really, but sooner or later you’ll develop a feel of your

compatibility in general – DON’T ignore this.

#6: Fill in your own criteria here

I’m sure you have a personal set of standards, but remember to keep

it PRACTICAL. What I usually suggest to my friends is to clarify

their criteria by making a LIST of things you want in a guy.

Don’t put too much thought into the first draft; write down as many

traits or qualities that you think your dream guy needs to have.

Then, go over this version and think hard about whether the

original criteria you listed are absolutely essential.

Chances are you can further REFINE or even DROP certain traits from

your list.

For instance, does Mr. Right REALLY need to have a height of 6’5″,

or would you just be as happy with someone a bit below that mark?

Maybe the quality of your relationship wouldn’t be THAT affected if

your suitor wasn’t as a hardcore fan of Harry Potter as you are.

Give yourself the chance to trim down the fat until you’ve come up

with a list that’s realistic but doesn’t compromise your core

principles or values. However, it doesn’t have to be a final

version from that point on, either.

Be flexible enough to amend your list because the changing

circumstances in your life could influence what you want in a man

in the future.

In the end however, it’s your gut feeling that will truly tell you

if he’s worth keeping or ditching. Though the first couple of

dates with a given guy may not be movie-perfect, there could be an

“x-factor” which could justify another chance.

Of course, we’re not aiming for absolute perfection here, only

developing a good idea of whether his strengths outshine his flaws.

Just keep the basic prerequisites in mind to help GUIDE your

higher judgment.

What really matters is that you learn to build up a general

AWARENESS (but NOT a suspicious mindset) of the signs that are

already there. It’s just a matter of getting used to keeping your

eyes open, but relaxed enough to enjoy dating.

Excerpt from Rachel Rider

How to Be Irresistible to Men team

(Relationships.com)

Destiny in Love: It’s Not Just In the Movies

What role does Destiny play in your love

life – and where do you stand on these

questions?

It’s something to think about!

Destiny is that moment in “The Notebook”

when Allie sees the picture of Noah in

the newspaper – and faints dead away while

trying on her wedding gown. (Her mom sees

the picture, too, and says, “Oh, no.”)

Destiny is many things – including the magical

events that bring us together – sometimes

repeatedly – with a person we’re meant to

be with.

Thoughts of destiny, choice, and love bring

to mind one of my favorite movies, which I

highly recommend if you’ve never seen it -

“Moonstruck” with Cher, Nicolas Cage, and

many other great actors.

“Moonstruck” is a breath of fresh air – such

a sweet, charming, funny, and passionate movie,

so beautifully photographed; a movie that is

all the more precious with some age (released

in 1987).

The family members who live in the Brooklyn

house in “Moonstruck” are all longing for love

in some way. Even the widowed grandfather

bestows all of his love on five appreciative

mutts. Some in the family are seeking love in

the wrong place, whether they know it yet or not.

Cher plays Loretta, the main character, a widow

who thinks that she created bad luck in her

first marriage by certain fateful choices.

She thinks that if she does everything right

now, her upcoming marriage will have the luck

that eluded her the first time – her first

husband got hit by a bus after only a few

years of marriage.

Loretta is newly engaged to a middle-aged

mama’s boy whom she doesn’t love.

But love is the farthest thing from this

bride-to-be’s mind. She’s focused on luck.

What happens? Destiny changes everything.

She falls in love with the “wrong” man,

even though that’s not in her plans at all,

nor does she want it to be in her plans!

It’s not that easy for Loretta to come

to grips with her entire view of love.

We can choose a lot of things, but we

can’t choose who we love!

I know, “love is a choice,” but feelings

are feelings, and choices are choices!

These are intertwined in each of us

as we write our own life script.

And then there’s destiny.

Destiny is a combination of two things. It’s

what you don’t create, combined with what

you’re ready for.

Destiny is opportunity and readiness

combined. The opportunities WILL come

your way, so will you be ready for them?

I know there are people who believe in

luck, and we’re all a little superstitious,

whether or not we even notice it, even

those of us who do not believe in such

things!

Destiny is in our hands. We create our own Destiny.

Life is what you make it.

From Mimi Tanner

The 5 Secrets of Popular Women

Ever noticed that men are actually a LOT

different from the way they portray themselves?

They like us to think of them as single, and

loving it – as though their bachelor days are the

best days of their lives. They jokingly refer to

their friends’ girlfriends as “the ball and

chain”, and they brag to their mates about their

prowess in the one-night-stand department (“Dude!

I scored three chicks over the weekend!”)

Yet, underneath all the braggadocio, men are

actually just as tuned-in for love as women are.

Statistical surveys tell us that 39% of single men

rate “finding a relationship” as one of the most

important aspects of life (compared to 26% of

single women – how’s that for unexpected?)

But statistics aside, there are certain

qualities a woman can have which give her a

significant advantage in the quest to find a

satisfying relationship. Fact: there are certain

feminine attributes which men consider to be

universally attractive.

You’ll learn ALL about what it is that makes women

truly irresistible to men (two fantastic bonuses:

it’s not about physical attractiveness, and the

results are immediate!)

To give you a quick taster, I’m going to give

you the top five “great girlfriend”

characteristics that are UNIVERSALLY DESIRED by

men. These are the traits that the popular women

have: the things that get them the thumbs-up from

a guy’s friends, parents, and – most importantly -

the guy himself.

Trait #1: You strike the balance between

appreciative and independent.

This means you pull your own weight when it

comes to dates, money, and handling situations -

yet at the same time, you’re able to relax and

enjoy it when he makes an effort to take care of

you.

Some women are aware of the appeal of an

independent female, and their enthusiasm to fulfil

this modern-day ideal will actually lead them in

the wrong direction. There they will sit,

steely-eyed, Amex in hand, as the waiter

approaches with the bill – conveying iron-fisted

Women-Can-Do-Anything-And-Don’t-You-DARE-Pay

willpower to everyone within a ten-foot radius.

And then, at the opposite end of the spectrum,

is the girl who mysteriously has to pay a visit to

the bathroom JUST as the check arrives … or is the

first out of the taxi and last to the bar, every

time … or who stands there waiting for assistance

whenever she’s got more than 2 grocery bags to

carry.

Fact: neither of these women are attractive to

men.

Men like to feel that you appreciate their

efforts towards chivalry, and most of them will

get a rush from things like opening doors for you

and paying for movie tickets. It’s important to

allow him the opportunity to do little things for

you. But take it too far, and that sense of

pleasure will turn to resentment.

The trick is to strike a happy balance. You

want to allow him to indulge his masculine desire

to protect, provide, and give pleasure, but

without making him feel like you’re taking him for

granted.

In other words, if you expect dinner, dessert,

and parking to be paid for every time, or if you

make a habit of accepting drinks but never buying

them, then you’ll be filed away under “Avoid

Phone-Calls From” for future reference.

Here’s a good rule of thumb: appreciate, enjoy,

but NEVER expect. And make sure he knows it.

Trait #2: You’re happy to let him have his own

life

Closeness is a fantastic thing. It’s elusive -

most people spend their lives searching for a

soul-connection with someone. So when you develop

a relationship with someone who you think to

yourself could be “The One”, it’s tempting to

spend ALL your time with them.

But men need to know that, should things

between you ever reach that kind of level, that

you’ll still be OK with him having interests and

friends of his own. He needs to know that he won’t

need to account for his every move, or apologize

to you for having a late night out every so often.

And this is a two-way street: not only does he

need his independence from you, but he wants YOU

to need your independence from him, too.

It’s uncomfortable for ANYONE to feel like

somebody else’s entire life centers around nothing

but them. Put him up on a pedestal, and shirk your

other interests and friendships in favor of

hanging out with him, and he’ll slip through your

fingers like quicksilver – scared off by the

burden of importance you’ve placed on him.

The trick to maintaining a happy status quo?

It’s called Live and Let Live. Men will value a

partner who WANTS to hang out with them, but

doesn’t NEED them to be around – someone who

enjoys their company when they’re around, and is

happy to get on with her own life when they’re

not.

(By the way, if this is a topic that you’d like

to learn more about, then you’ll find “Conversation

Chemistry” very much worth your while.

It’s available now at:

https://www.meetyoursweet.com/conversationchemistry/.)

So be affectionate, by all means – just don’t

translate “affection” into “neediness”.

Trait #3: You Keep Yourself Together – But

Don’t Take It Too Far

Spending more than half an hour getting ready

for a date when he’s waiting for you in the other

room is an ABSOLUTE no-no. It’s nice that you like

to look nice – but anything more than half an hour

MAXIMUM is asking way, way too much. (To really

score bonus points, you’ll make a habit of being

ready by the time he knocks on your door.)

However, it’s possible to take this to the

other extreme: if you put a lot of effort into

your appearance when you first started hanging

out, but 10 dates down the line you’ve graduated

to holey underwear and trackpants 24/7, he’s not

going to be too impressed.

Sound shallow? Just think how you’d feel if

your hot boyfriend with the washboard stomach

turned out to be a professional couch-potato slob

with a penchant for 12-packs (the aluminum kind,

not the abdominal kind) and Krispy Kremes. You’d

feel a bit cheated, wouldn’t you?

The ideal girlfriend will keep herself looking

tidy and together (because SHE wants to, not

because HE wants her to) but won’t need an

exhaustive 2-hour primping routine just to go grab

brunch together.

Trait #4 You Don’t Load Him Down With Your

Insecurities

We’re all human. Every one of us, male or

female, has our own set of insecurities and

hang-ups. The average well-adjusted man can handle

that, and he’s able to sympathize with you and

support you through them – AFTER HE’S GOT TO KNOW

YOU A LITTLE BIT.

How does this translate to you and your life?

Just remember that people are looking for a

partner who’s going to burden them with as few

insecurities and hang-ups as possible.

The early days are NOT a good time for you to

confess that your parents divorced when you were a

child, therefore you struggle with abandonment

issues. You might feel relieved and happy to have

found someone you can trust; he’ll hear, “Say

bye-bye to your friends, your hobbies, and your

independence, buddy!”

Likewise, you should stay away from bloopers

such as “misreading” compliments (he tells you

that you look nice; you scoff and ask him if he’s

somehow overlooked your butt/thighs/the pimple on

your chin), asking him to tell you that he loves

you “just so you can relax”, or making a point of

pointing out pretty girls’ flaws to make yourself

feel better (tip: you’ll do far, FAR better if you

actually POINT OUT a hot girl and compliment her.)

Look, these things cross all of our minds

sooner or later. We all have our low moments, when

all we want is to be hugged and told that

everything’s going to be OK. But you have to give

it time. You can’t overload the poor bloke with

too much responsibility, too early on – you want

him to feel like a boyfriend, not a babysitter!

It’s hard to know where to draw the line – you

want to be able to trust this person with your

true feelings, but you don’t want to actually

drive him away.

https://www.meetyoursweet.com/selfconfidence/women/index.php

has a fantastic section on learning how to be

honest and comfortable in your relationships

WITHOUT killing the attraction.

Remember, if you’re interested in scoring

“great girlfriend” points, you’ll do things that

show how confident and secure you are in yourself

- not things that showcase your insecurities.

Remember, how we see ourselves sets the tone for

how others see us.

Trait #5: He is not your project (and you both

know it)

How many men complain that their female halves

are trying to “better” them?

I always feel so sorry for these poor guys. It

must be dreadful. They attract a woman who they

honesty believe loves (or at least LIKES) them for

who they are.

After a month or so passes, the criticism sets

in. Could he lose that weight he keeps talking

about? It’s bad for his health, and he’d look so

much better without it. Could he stop wearing

those daggy T-shirts? It’s embarrassing to be seen

out with him looking like that. He should really

stop eating take-out if he wants to see 65 … and

so on.

Women know that this nagging is a form of

affection: they’re taking responsibility for the

health and wellbeing of their men, because they

don’t see that man as being able to take

sufficient care of himself.

Men, on the other hand, do not see it as a sign

of affection. They see it as a boring, irritating

nuisance. No man on the face of the earth has EVER

liked being nagged. (Did you know that in 18th

century England it was actually legal to douse a

woman in the river and pelt her with stones if she

was convicted of nagging?)

Not only does nagging and criticism convey an

essential disrespect for that man’s basic

personality and habits, but it also tells him that

you consider yourself and your opinions superior

to his. He’s become your project: you’re going to

“fix” him, even if he doesn’t want to be fixed.

Not surprisingly, ALL men resent this in

varying degrees. Some will tell you in short order

where to go, some will resignedly tolerate it

(stuffing their ears with cotton-wool where

necessary), but not a one of them will ever

appreciate it.

Instead of trying to fix him, show him how

supportive you’re likely to be as a long-term

girlfriend. Make him feel GOOD about himself. Show

him how you can be an asset to his self-esteem,

social status, and life. If he shows you a project

he’s working on, reads you some of the novel he’s

writing in his spare time, or lets you take a peek

at his amateur cartoon strips, be enthusiastic in

your praise and support of his efforts. And save

your “suggestions” on his eating habits, wardrobe,

and alcoholic excesses … do you want to be the

fun-loving companion that he loves to spend time

with, or the authoritarian mother-figure who

sparks irritation and resentment?

Men get enough competition from their male

friends that they appreciate support from you all

the more. Showing that you’re the kind of lady

who’ll make him feel good about himself will show

him that you’re likely to be a supportive

long-term girlfriend, too.

Don’t forget, these are just 5 tips on making

yourself irresistible to men. For the full skinny

on being the kind of woman that men can’t stay

away from, check out

http://www.000relationships.com/tomen/. This is a

FANTASTIC resource – it’s bursting with

tried-and-true strategies and honest, easy to

implement techniques for getting rid of all your

dating and relationship hang-ups, and finding out

the secrets of attracting men!